Top Ten Google Reviews for US State Tripoints

Where three states meet, comedians converge

Oct 07, 2022

You’ve heard of Four Corners: the point where the borders of Colorado, New Mexico, Arizona, and Utah intersect. It’s one of a kind — the only place in the country where you can be physically located in four states at the same time — and that’s why it’s so popular. But if you’re down to settle for standing in just three states at once, there are dozens of points scattered all over the country that’ll scratch three-quarters of your Four Corners itch.

Aside from the famous quadripoint, there are 62 more state tripoints in the United States. They’re really cool if you’re a geography dork like me. You can still lie spread eagle on the ground for maximum state coverage. Most of them have a visible marker and some even have a small monument. All of this, of course, assumes that the tripoint is on land. Almost half of them aren’t; 24 are along rivers, two are in Lake Michigan, and one is in Lake Superior.

Which brings me to this: the other day, I was screwing around on Google Maps and I guess I never noticed that Tennessee’s southern border juts north a bit at its westernmost crossing of the Tennessee River, which at that point is the border between Mississippi and Alabama.1 The Tennessee line is supposed to remain on the 35th parallel for its entire length, so this was almost certainly a surveying error.

The Tennessee River as it crosses north into Tennessee from the Mississippi-Alabama border

In any case, as I zoomed in on this, I couldn’t help but notice that someone placed a Historical Landmark right on the tripoint in the middle of the river.

Zoomed in on the above image, you see a marker where the three state lines converge.

Why did Google accept this? Is there actually a marker here? Are all of the other underwater tripoints marked on Google Maps?

The answers: I don’t know, no, and — for whatever reason — yes!2

I clicked on this one out of curiosity and the first thing that stuck out to me was that three people had reviewed this nonexistent waterlogged monument. How do you review something like this?

You don’t! You just crack jokes.

Review from Cory M: I found it to be a very water area, right in the middle of a river. But overall okay. | Response from the owner: Thanks for swimming with us Cory. Come back soon | Review from Kenneth Reynolds: Nice spot for swimming | Review from White Diamond: Middle of the water

And just like that, whatever rabbit hole I was going down would have to be put on hold. I was going to spend the rest of my night laughing at state tripoint Google reviews.

Here are my favorites. Enjoy!

10. A moment of silence for the cousin

Idaho-Oregon-Washington

This reviewer with a keyboard vomit name lost their cousin to the fishes. They must not have been very fond of their cousin because they gave the tripoint five stars.

Review from R8skghr Tjsjtsfjskg: The statue was nice although my little cousin was taken by a big group of fish, never to be seen again

I like to imagine their cousin was named L9wknbh. Same surname, of course.

9. Future Location of Megacity One

Wyoming-South Dakota-Nebraska

From this point, the closest sign of civilization is over 17 miles as the crow flies (and significantly farther by road). There’s no obvious source of water or any other utilities, and I must imagine the topography isn’t very conducive to development. But “nebula” has a vision.

Review from nebula: someone needs to build a big city here

Who’s with them!?!?

8. We’ve got conflicting reports…

Massachusetts-Vermont-New Hampshire

The border between Vermont and New Hampshire is the Connecticut River, but the way Google shows the line makes it seem like the official tripoint is on the shore. This would be a pretty normal place to put a survey marker. So, is one here?

Review from Jason Brooks: Nothing to see. No monument or anything for the tri-state border. | Review from Sam Rosen: theres a monument but little jason didn't see it becuase hes so short hehehaha

Guess I’ll have to go up there and see for myself.

7. Ricardo needs to pee

Montana-South Dakota-North Dakota

I sifted through several hundred ho-hum reviews of landlocked tripoints with small monuments. A lot of the negative ones complained about the lack of restrooms or other facilities aside from just the geographic marker.

Review from Ricardo Rodriguez: No restrooms

For well-maintained monuments on public land, this would make sense. They’re essentially small parks, and parks are better with bathrooms. But this is a rock in the middle of nowhere that’s probably on private property. I don’t know what you expected, bud.

6. Shane offers a solution

New Mexico-Texas-Oklahoma

Here’s another rinky-dink tripoint a million miles from anywhere you can find a public restroom. Unlike our friend Ricardo, though, Shane became enlightened and took matters into his own hands.

Review from Shane Hoffman: Nothing more and nothing less than a post at the edge of a field. A place you might as well see once in your life. A place to contemplate the sameness of it all while you take a contemplative leak.

I wonder if he went out of his way to piss on all three states.

5. You never know who you’ll run into!

Pennsylvania-West Virginia-Maryland

Most of the reviews for this tripoint warn about a lack of convenient access. The road coming in from the west ends on private property, while the road on the east is rugged and not maintained. But toughing it out could be well worth your while. It certainly was for “yoshoinks”.

My only question: Barack or Michelle?

4. William is fed up

Kentucky-Indiana-Ohio

The Ohio River is one of the most important waterways in the United States. It provides water to millions of Americans, its basin stretches all the way from New York to Mississippi, and it’s usually considered a de facto western extension of the Mason-Dixon Line: the great divide between North and South. To that last point, the river doubles as a state line for almost its entire length. It forms five state tripoints along the way, and William thinks that, by golly, they really should be marked!

Review from William Selleck: Well for crying out loud. Where's the sign? You'd think one of these 3 states would put one up. Don't gimme that "The barges keep hitting it" garbage. The taxpayers demand it!! And what about the poor divers? Surely they should have one under water eh? C' mom guys! Where's the state pride? I guess I'll hav eto swim out there and do it myself. Sheesh!!

William, if you’re reading this, hit me up and let me know how I can help you on this important journey.

3. KCJ has some opinions…

Colorado-Wyoming-Nebraska

I’ll get right into it: this is perhaps the most unhinged review I’ve ever read of anything anywhere. It’s a one-star review that starts out by saying they haven’t been there and transitions directly into berating those who’ve disrespected it.

Review from KCJ 2021: I've not made it here....yet. I understand people wanting to 'grab' a piece of the rock/marker for a souvenir but destruction of a marker is a felony, federal offense on this case, but what do "simpleton" men know. Yeah, I ment it that way, as I see other national treasures being destroyed as people whittle away other national shrines, carve walls with names at sacred prayer sites, or destroy large rock formations, in those parks for fun, because their stupid minds say they can. Having no Morals is destroying our country, piece by piece, etc. That includes taking a knee on our Flag....SAME DISRESPECT. You get the idea... I would also like to see people respect the site

And they don’t just mean physical disrespect. They need this rock to be photographed in the greatest light possible. Don’t worry, they tell you how.

Review continues: here, and other locations, as they photograph them. Also remember, what ever resolution of your camera, it gets changed as the photo is captured by the website, and then it may be hard to see certain details, because it has probably been changed. Don t shoot high...13.2mgp or slightly larger is fine. Please, someone else take another BRASS placque picture, closer and framed, so we can read it. WE can't read what they typed, it's to far away. It doesn"t blow up very clear on the only picture. Your new pucture maybe better or maybe not?. Also, if it's digital, review your shot to make sure it is clear and readable before you place it. No shadows please! 11am to 1pm are otnthe best tme to take a new shot. Shafows dont help either. Maybe a "FILL FLASH" might help, but straight sun is better. Then if you get it, by all means, post it. One is fine...lets not have 20 more...not real good looking if that happens. The 360's look ok, but some could be removed because they don't take a good view of the marker and surrounding area... Each marker should be documented, left alone undusturbed and as in good as condition as posible. These are records of survey points and boundries...Lets have some respect....history

It really makes you think…

Review continues: if our nation was laid our using these markers to establish territories and eventually States and our property lunes... your house property lines come from these points and lines...yeah that's huge to think about...estblished over a hundred years ago...Welcome to the Louisiana Purchase/then the Nebraska Territory/...and finally the state's of Nebraska, Colorado,

…about visiting your local cemetery.

Review continues: and Wyoming....cool! I have family buried in Julesburg, CO nearby. Will be checking on them soon... to say hello and good bye.

I need this person to start a podcast, STAT.

2. Would you rather…

Tennessee-Alabama-Georgia

This is actually one of the most contentious tripoints in the country. That water body to the north is Nickajack Lake, a reservoir on the Tennessee River. The river never enters Georgia; the closest it gets is the southernmost point of this lake, which is about 225 feet north of the line.

But remember when I said Tennessee’s southern border is supposed to be the 35th parallel? That latitude is actually here:

A Google Maps screenshot showing that the southern Tennessee boundary is about a mile south of where it's supposed to be: the 35th parallel north.

A surveying error on the part of both states placed the border about a mile too far south. In most circumstances, this wouldn’t really matter, but Georgia really wants access to the Tennessee River and its water, so they’ve attempted legal action on numerous occasions, even threatening to take it all the way to the Supreme Court.

That obviously hasn’t gone anywhere, so the tripoint is still on land. Good thing, too, cuz legend has it, the survey marker has magical powers.

Review from Bret Hart: Many people don't know it but the boundary stone is one of the few places in the US where three states come together over land. I don't know if all the physical markers for the boundaries confer a blessing if you kiss them, but this one does. However, the blessings (and curses) will differ depending on which state you are standing in when you kiss it. (Standing in two states, negates any blessings) If you are in Alabama and you kiss the stone, you will be blessed with the ability to fix any two cycle engine, but at least four more of your teeth will fall out, and you will become addicted to nicotine. If you are in Georgia when you kiss the stone, you will be blessed with the ability to play the banjo, however you will gain 60 pounds and your ability to drive will be greatly diminished. If you are in Tennessee when you kiss the stone, you will be blessed with the ability of a marksman, but you will loose most of your reading ability, and you will fall in love with your sister or closest female relative.

Which state are you kissing the stone from? Alabama is out for me because I’ve never needed to fix any two-cycle engines and it wouldn’t be a very useful skill in my day-to-day life. I think Tennessee is out too because my only sister is married and 13 years my senior, so falling in love with her would be pretty awkward. I think Georgia is the play; as long as I can relocate to a city where I don’t have to drive on a regular basis, I can carve out a sweet niche as a banjoist, and the blessing doesn’t specify that I gain 60 pounds of fat, so I’ll take that weight in muscle and start a second career as a bodybuilder.

Whichever state you pick, just make sure to keep your clothes on while you kiss the stone or you might rack up some hefty fines.

Review from Mean Electricman: I got a ticket from the Alabama, Tennessee, and Georgia state troopers for indecent exposure on this spot. The troopers were fighting each other because of jurisdiction issues so all three ticketed me.

1. The Many Adventures of Mine Mine

Various tripoints

I’m definitely not the first person to discover these tripoint landmarks on Google Maps. A few people have left comedic reviews on multiple tripoints. One of them, “Mine Mine”, has turned a few tripoints into creative writing exercises.

Review of the South Dakota-Montana-Wyoming tripoint: Really lousy, they try to sell you on the fact that it has 2 90° angles from there South Dakota and Wyoming meet Montana, but what they don’t tell you is that South Dakota is at a 91° angle and Wyoming at an 89° angle. It is unacceptable for the government to try to scam us like this, head to the Montana, South Dakota corner instead for a true 90° angle experience

They abandoned their uncle at the Wyoming-Utah-Colorado tripoint.

Review of the Wyoming-Utah-Colorado tripoint: swung by here with my uncle rob. and when I say swung by I meant it literally. I let rob drive and he had one too many trips to the brew threw and was HAMMERED. we rolled off the blacktop and went barreling down some dirt roads before he flipped a badass U turn nearly wiping out some poor game warden on our tail. Either way my uncle is now in the Dagget county jail and I ain't paying bail for him. Let someone else deal with his problems.

They scuba dived the Red River.

Review of the Arkansas-Oklahoma-Texas tripoint, which is in the middle of the Red River: I will note that the price of admission is very expensive but that’s mostly due to the lack of scuba gear provided. I brought my own from home luckily and I learned to always bring it along after my kayaking trip in Winnetka. Other than that it was quite a privilege to swim in the red river, even if it did not have the red hues it once did from the Battle of Kane Hill.

And they’re absolutely convinced that one tripoint is a secret Four Corners.

Review of the New Mexico-Oklahoma-Texas tripoint: A little dissapointed, I feel let down that it’s only a 3 state monument and not 4. I’ve been arguing with my dentist for 3 months now about how robunda is a real state and I was hoping to finally prove him wrong at what should have been a robunda monument but I found no mention of the state anywhere here. This is obsurd that even the governments of Texas, New Mexico, and Oklahoma are denying the existence their neighbor.

I hope they visit every tripoint and share their experiences. The world certainly needs to hear them.

Header photo by Jimmy Emerson, DVM on Flickr.

If you’re wondering how I got here, me too.

Most of them, anyway