Top Ten Google Reviews for US State Tripoints

Where three states meet, comedians converge

You’ve heard of Four Corners: the point where the borders of Colorado, New Mexico, Arizona, and Utah intersect. It’s one of a kind — the only place in the country where you can be physically located in four states at the same time — and that’s why it’s so popular. But if you’re down to settle for standing in just three states at once, there are dozens of points scattered all over the country that’ll scratch three-quarters of your Four Corners itch.

Aside from the famous quadripoint, there are 62 more state tripoints in the United States. They’re really cool if you’re a geography dork like me. You can still lie spread eagle on the ground for maximum state coverage. Most of them have a visible marker and some even have a small monument. All of this, of course, assumes that the tripoint is on land. Almost half of them aren’t; 24 are along rivers, two are in Lake Michigan, and one is in Lake Superior.

Which brings me to this: the other day, I was screwing around on Google Maps and I guess I never noticed that Tennessee’s southern border juts north a bit at its westernmost crossing of the Tennessee River, which at that point is the border between Mississippi and Alabama.¹ The Tennessee line is supposed to remain on the 35th parallel for its entire length, so this was almost certainly a surveying error.

In any case, as I zoomed in on this, I couldn’t help but notice that someone placed a Historical Landmark right on the tripoint in the middle of the river.

Why did Google accept this? Is there actually a marker here? Are all of the other underwater tripoints marked on Google Maps?

The answers: I don’t know, no, and — for whatever reason — yes!²

I clicked on this one out of curiosity and the first thing that stuck out to me was that three people had reviewed this nonexistent waterlogged monument. How do you review something like this?

You don’t! You just crack jokes.

And just like that, whatever rabbit hole I was going down would have to be put on hold. I was going to spend the rest of my night laughing at state tripoint Google reviews.

Here are my favorites. Enjoy!

10. A moment of silence for the cousin

Idaho-Oregon-Washington

This reviewer with a keyboard vomit name lost their cousin to the fishes. They must not have been very fond of their cousin because they gave the tripoint five stars.

I like to imagine their cousin was named L9wknbh. Same surname, of course.

9. Future Location of Megacity One

Wyoming-South Dakota-Nebraska

From this point, the closest sign of civilization is over 17 miles as the crow flies (and significantly farther by road). There’s no obvious source of water or any other utilities, and I must imagine the topography isn’t very conducive to development. But “nebula” has a vision.

Who’s with them!?!?

8. We’ve got conflicting reports…

Massachusetts-Vermont-New Hampshire

The border between Vermont and New Hampshire is the Connecticut River, but the way Google shows the line makes it seem like the official tripoint is on the shore. This would be a pretty normal place to put a survey marker. So, is one here?

Guess I’ll have to go up there and see for myself.

7. Ricardo needs to pee

Montana-South Dakota-North Dakota

I sifted through several hundred ho-hum reviews of landlocked tripoints with small monuments. A lot of the negative ones complained about the lack of restrooms or other facilities aside from just the geographic marker.

For well-maintained monuments on public land, this would make sense. They’re essentially small parks, and parks are better with bathrooms. But this is a rock in the middle of nowhere that’s probably on private property. I don’t know what you expected, bud.

6. Shane offers a solution

New Mexico-Texas-Oklahoma

Here’s another rinky-dink tripoint a million miles from anywhere you can find a public restroom. Unlike our friend Ricardo, though, Shane became enlightened and took matters into his own hands.

I wonder if he went out of his way to piss on all three states.

5. You never know who you’ll run into!

Pennsylvania-West Virginia-Maryland

Most of the reviews for this tripoint warn about a lack of convenient access. The road coming in from the west ends on private property, while the road on the east is rugged and not maintained. But toughing it out could be well worth your while. It certainly was for “yoshoinks”.

My only question: Barack or Michelle?

4. William is fed up

Kentucky-Indiana-Ohio

The Ohio River is one of the most important waterways in the United States. It provides water to millions of Americans, its basin stretches all the way from New York to Mississippi, and it’s usually considered a de facto western extension of the Mason-Dixon Line: the great divide between North and South. To that last point, the river doubles as a state line for almost its entire length. It forms five state tripoints along the way, and William thinks that, by golly, they really should be marked!

William, if you’re reading this, hit me up and let me know how I can help you on this important journey.

3. KCJ has some opinions…

Colorado-Wyoming-Nebraska

I’ll get right into it: this is perhaps the most unhinged review I’ve ever read of anything anywhere. It’s a one-star review that starts out by saying they haven’t been there and transitions directly into berating those who’ve disrespected it.

And they don’t just mean physical disrespect. They need this rock to be photographed in the greatest light possible. Don’t worry, they tell you how.

It really makes you think…

…about visiting your local cemetery.

I need this person to start a podcast, STAT.

2. Would you rather…

Tennessee-Alabama-Georgia

This is actually one of the most contentious tripoints in the country. That water body to the north is Nickajack Lake, a reservoir on the Tennessee River. The river never enters Georgia; the closest it gets is the southernmost point of this lake, which is about 225 feet north of the line.

But remember when I said Tennessee’s southern border is supposed to be the 35th parallel? That latitude is actually here:

A surveying error on the part of both states placed the border about a mile too far south. In most circumstances, this wouldn’t really matter, but Georgia really wants access to the Tennessee River and its water, so they’ve attempted legal action on numerous occasions, even threatening to take it all the way to the Supreme Court.

That obviously hasn’t gone anywhere, so the tripoint is still on land. Good thing, too, cuz legend has it, the survey marker has magical powers.

Which state are you kissing the stone from? Alabama is out for me because I’ve never needed to fix any two-cycle engines and it wouldn’t be a very useful skill in my day-to-day life. I think Tennessee is out too because my only sister is married and 13 years my senior, so falling in love with her would be pretty awkward. I think Georgia is the play; as long as I can relocate to a city where I don’t have to drive on a regular basis, I can carve out a sweet niche as a banjoist, and the blessing doesn’t specify that I gain 60 pounds of fat, so I’ll take that weight in muscle and start a second career as a bodybuilder.

Whichever state you pick, just make sure to keep your clothes on while you kiss the stone or you might rack up some hefty fines.

1. The Many Adventures of Mine Mine

Various tripoints

I’m definitely not the first person to discover these tripoint landmarks on Google Maps. A few people have left comedic reviews on multiple tripoints. One of them, “Mine Mine”, has turned a few tripoints into creative writing exercises.

They abandoned their uncle at the Wyoming-Utah-Colorado tripoint.

They scuba dived the Red River.

And they’re absolutely convinced that one tripoint is a secret Four Corners.

I hope they visit every tripoint and share their experiences. The world certainly needs to hear them.

Header photo by Jimmy Emerson, DVM on Flickr.

1. If you’re wondering how I got here, me too.

2. Most of them, anyway